Intolerance

I had an experience tonight that made me think a lot...

I was in a restaurant tonight with Aidan's father, his friend and her 11 year old daughter. Aidan was very hyper sensitive and I quickly remembered why I didnt take him out in public places due to the reaction of most of the people.

He was swinging the cord on the blinds, jumping up and down flapping his arms in the booth, grabbing the bottle of sauce and making noise with it on the table etc. All I kept focusing on was calming him down. We all understood at the table but no one else did.

These sorts of things make me angry that I have to teach a child who doesnt understand empathy, social behaviors or the repercussions to act like he does as a routine instead of educating the masses of him.

But I digress..

On a happier note an 11 year old understood him more than 99% of the adults in the room. He kissed her of course.



His scribbles to me...

Irony Flower

I had a very emotionally traumatic day yesterday at the funeral. You just realize someone who was a symbol of your belief; "no matter religious belief, being a good person is who you are." My 2nd dad....was gone.

There were many bouquets but the combination of two on the coffin were of his immediate family and people who I feel have taken advantage of him....

Volunteering

Having a conversation with one of my best friends today, and she mentioned volunteering for one additional reason other than the obvious two.

1. I am a nice person and I love helping people when I can. It makes them feel good as well as myself because of that reason.

2. I gain valuable experience such as; food prep (soup kitchen), resources from knowledgeable people and situations in a direction I want to take my life.

3. It looks good on a resume

The point is experience and doing something good. So I have volunteered for 4 places. 1. Meal prep at a homeless shelter
2. Library assistance to young children
3. Gardening to a local conservatory
4. Offering any time I have to help with the angels of autism network.

This makes me happy and excited.

Who knows where this path will lead but only good things I suspect.





Aidan and I at the park yesterday.

F-Eleven

I have the privilege of being a part of a small community of very talented photographers. We have made our own collection of our work and published a 2nd volume. This one means a little more to me as the charity is Autism Research. My work in the book is of my son who, as you may or may not know is affected by Fragile X Syndrome and Autism.

This means a lot to me personally so I do hope you will enjoy it;


http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/1239715

http://www.blurb.com/books/1239715

Untitled Happiness

Currently have a severe head cold. I am driving to North Carolina tomorrow and hope this thing is gone soon.

I'm working on a biography for a book i'll be published in, in a couple of weeks. It's very near and dear to my heart.

I'm so close to finding my calling in life... I can almost reach it but it's a little blurry to see yet...


Aidan will not stop talking and that makes me feel like this;



Self portrait 2010.

Traveling Toward Everywhere

I was on a 6 hour flight from Charlotte to San Francisco last night after a 4 hour layover and a 2 hour delay....

During the flight I was reading a book that was given to me by one of my best friends called; Riding Toward Everywhere by Williamt T Vollman. The book is about himself and his companion Steve taking to the rails on freight cars. Questioning anything and everything subjecting both our national romance and our skepticism about hobo life and the reality of what he actually sees.

I read two things in this book that stuck with me. One had to do with an old man and his life on the train. What kept him going was the freedom of it. Upon reflection, it brought him to tears because it is such a sharp contrast to his own current life now which is completely organized. The second, when you travel, whatever mode of transportation you are in, it takes you places you would have never seen otherwise from different views. You then start to analyze; "Where exactly am I going? What am I doing?" Where is "Everywhere?"

In the airport, I heard people bitching left and right... and to be honest I wasnt exactly happy about the scenario but would I trade it for anything else? Absolutely not. It's part of my life I have grown to enjoy and appreciate. Its always different everyday and there's always a story to tell.

Then it hits you... the journey is the real gem here. Everywhere, is getting there.



Taken with my phone in the bathroom stall of an airport

Love

I called a friend of mine while driving to New York and thinking - as per usual. I had this epiphany to what it took for relationships to work. People have a misconception that as long as you are in lust or care about a person it will work... it doesnt work that way.

The Four Loves -4 Greek words that mean love, I had the conversation about three of them. The other is storge (pronounced STORE-gay) which is the Greek word for "natural affection" which is really unconditional love.

Eros - which means passion, fire, physical attraction, romance.

Phileo - which means friendship but also more than friendship. Phileo is the word behind Philadelphia, the "City of Brotherly Love". Phileo is a deep and abiding affection for another person. Phileo means taking delight in being in the presence of the other, as in "I love to be with you". Phileo is like slipping into a favorite set of old clothes that feels very comfortable, except that you are slipping into a very comfortable relationship.

Agape - a long term commitment to another person. Agape says "I will treat you like I love you even when I don't feel like I love you". Agape is what keeps one person loyal to another during the more stressful times in a relationship. Agape treats another person well, even if they aren't treating you well in return.

Ideally, a couple would have all three all of the time. Realistically, eros and phileo can fade from time to time. There are difficult times in which we just don't enjoy being with the other person. Or we are in no mood to be passionate. We don't feel romantic. Agape is the glue that holds a relationship together when eros and/or phileo are at low tide.

A lot of couples who have been together a long time (for decades rather than for years) would say that it is easier to live without eros for a while, than to live without phileo for a while.

All that is all with timing and understand as with anything else....


Hey this is the philosophy of a nude model.. well more like epiphanies that I have and then realize they have already been coined by people smarter than I.