Thursday, December 11, 2008

Tears of Joy

is what I cried today in the doctor's office with Shaun and his mother to talk about what is "wrong" with Aidan. At 3 1/2, along with Fragile X Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorder is what he's been diagnosed with. He doesnt have Autism but traits of Autism not even really strong enough to be on a spectrum or Aspergers. He has rituals with spinning/swinging, no language, and difficulty with socializing. Though he is very social he just isnt as social as he should be and has difficulty with doing things "normally". The doctor disagreed with the psychologist on saying he is Autism-Spectrum due to his very social behavior and he only has a few traits of Autism and that is directly related to Fragile X. He may even grow past these "autistic traits." Which is what i've thought the entire time but I never wanted to get my hopes up. It's hard being optimistic with this.

This is a very very good thing. With us, the school, and his speech therapists help he will progress and never regress. He's almost normal in other areas except language. He rates with a 16 month old in that regaurd but he is babbling more and wanting to say things...

But the best news is he will speak. My son will talk. I have dreams about him saying words and in my dream I run and hug him and kiss him. My dream will come true soon. I am the happiest mother in the world right now and i cant stop smiling and crying.

I love my special little guy.

Me and my world.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Love Sarah

is what I autographed on quite a few copies of Renee Jacobs' calendar PROVOCATEUR last night in Atlanta. I had no idea what to write. I've signed a few prints for people but nothing like this. I was initially there to support my girl Renee but she got into gushing about me (making me blush) as well as revisiting our crazy story to get the shot in that calendar. She's a great speaker and a wonderful photographer. She deserves all the success she gets. We had lots of wine after... LOTS.

ATL was alright. Jay Bowman was a wonderful host and a complete gentleman. I cant wait to see the whole 3 frames we shot. I left the airport today in Georgia, it was 60 something degrees. Landed in Columbus to 19 degrees. Fuck.

The great news is my Europe trip is coming together very very well. For January, i'm impressed. Looks like Dublin for 4 days, Germany for 3 and Scotland for 3. I'm excited.

Tonight i'm going to play with my little guy and try to stay in from this arctic air while it snows.

Kinda wishing I was California, except in this image there was 50 mph winds, hail, and it was about 40 degrees:

Image by the talented and dear friend of mine Renee Jacobs.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

You'd Think They'd Leave Me Alone..... now. This is the third time in the last 6 months i've had Christian people come to my door forcing literature on me. Here is the dialogue:

Hi there I know it's cold and we're letting all of your heat out but I wanted to talk to you today about God and Creationism. I started smiling. Here's the dialogue:

Her: People have wondered where we have came from for thousands of years
Me: Actually it's longer than that.
Her: riight...well i'd like to ask you what is it that you believe?
Me: I believe in being a good person without a great reward in the end.
Her: Well.. that's... interesting.
Her: You know there is a lot of evil in the world and we believe they could use God in their lives.
Me: Actually most "evil" people believed in God.. like Hitler.
Her: Oh.
Her: Right here in this scripture it says; "Man was created by a higher being" (I'm paraphrasing badly here)
Me: I have this book on my shelf by this guy named Darwin.
Her: hahaha riiight.
Her: So here in this article of our church newsletter there is this interesting information about a beetle and how God constructed it.
Me: Well I have this magazine on my table called National Geographic that explains how they just recovered bones from a 25,000 year old Neanderthal showing they were around after Modern humans entered to Spain from Africa.
Her: Well isnt that special.
Me: Well it's a fact and it's very interesting.
Enter Aidan with snot running down his nose (has a severe cold). He starts to shiver because it's 30 degrees outside.
Her: Oh it looks like he has a cold (she has a disgusted look on her face and starts to cover her nose and mouth as if my son is going to sneeze on her from 10 feet away)
Aidan (as many of you know - has Autism and Fragile X Syndrome) is obsessed with pendulums and opening and shutting doors (swinging things) He starts closing the door in her face.
Her: I'd like to leave this newsletter
Me: That's alright, i'll keep reading my "special" books and magazines. Have a good day.

As soon as the door was closed, Aidan clapped.

I wanted to say I was Jewish but I had a wreath on my door.

My "savior":

Image by me.

Friday, November 28, 2008


There's nothing like sleeping in until 10am after slaving over a stove with my sisters and my mother to feed - ourselves. Everything turned out perfectly. Cooking together is something we seem to do every year on a day in November and December. It's truly the only time we're ever all in the same room - and that's pretty great.

Then of course it's also great when one of your best friends calls you up at 11:30pm saying; "hey wanna watch The Machinist?" Cool. Nothing like a psychocolgical thriller to finish off Thanksgiving!

He had wine and cheesecake too.

I'm staying in today from the wrath of crazy people on this ridiculous Bank Holiday. I'll finish it off with hugs and kisses from my little guy.

Excerpt from yesterday from my 6 year old neice while we're eating pie together in the kitchen:

Her: Sarah, sometimes I hear jesus talking to me in my head and he wont shut up!
Me: Well what is he saying?
Her: he told me to vote for Barack Obama.

This is her shot on my TLR and how I feel about this day:

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I Love Being From the South...

Well just once a year...

Everyone tries to re-do a traditional southern Thanksgiving. I can say; "yeah I grew up on this in the south."

I'm going to my sisters house tomorrow and she, my mom, and my other sister are making dinner. Starting at 9am!

Here's the menu:

Turkey with rosemary butter and traditional gravy
Apple- Cranberry Stuffing
Smashed Potatoes with garlic, basil, and cheddar cheese
Green Bean Casserole
Candied Yams
Baked macaroni with Colby cheese
Broccoli Cornbread
7 Layer Salad

Pumpkin Pie
Peach Cobbler
Dirt Cake

and drumroll please... SWEET TEA.

I love this time of year. So far so good.

Have a good Thanksgiving, y'all. ; )

Image by Seirge

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Fountain

Image by me. Aidan spinning...

Life is just a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves....

I remember seeing this movie 2 years ago and coming back from it; "stop analyzing life, live in the moment."

When I found out Fragile X Syndrome could be cured, it not only reminded me but hit me as; one of the best movies i'd ever seen and the actual point....

You only live once, dont battle the future, relish in the present

The soundtrack is a collection of some of the most beautiful music i've ever heard...


this trailer doesnt even come close to doing this movie justice... Not even close.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


... is German for; "Jump".

I am, headfirst...into life. It is too short. I've been into philosophy and psychology most of my life and mostly realized life is too short to analyze it.

Dive or JUMP headfirst. Just know the consequences going in. Seems simple? It isnt, just be prepared.

Like almost being hit by this car while in a straightjacket;

Image by Ethan Long

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I Love...

...camping. There. I said it. Especially when you have the entire camp area to yourself. All 19 degrees and this:

Tunnel of Trees:

Taquamenon Falls:
Lake Superior:
Mackinac Bridge:

These are all just snapshots. I've taken much better landscape shots but hey, this was a vacation.

Friday, October 24, 2008

As We Wind On Down The Road.....

Just arriving back from Northern Michigan. I didnt want to leave... it was incredible as usual. I'll update with pictures soon.

For now, (aside from the random guy who gave me the thumbs up for matching Obama 08 bumper stickers) this describes my day returning back;

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Natural Light

I have a photographic mind. I am constantly seeing still frames everyday. From the bum foraging in the garbage to traffic jams with cars and their Obama bumper stickers. I see the world in natural light. Anytime I have an idea or I see a photograph in my mind, it is almost always with natural light. I heard the word; "lazy" correlated with people shooting in natural light the other day. To be honest it was at first funny, then offensive, then ludacrious. I'm quite sure it is a preference and laziness has nothing to do with it. Every photographer I have shot with all agree that natural light is intimidating because it cannot be controlled. Of course if you cant control something, the obvious irrational response would be to justify your reasoning... especially with something as mundane as this. However, in the way I shoot, if the light isnt correct I wont shoot it. Why try to force something I cant control? I like to shoot people in their natural environment and i'm almost positive that doesnt include putting them on a seamless with a strobe. I couldnt imagine trying to shoot my son in studio light. It would seem pointless, staged, and well... unnatural.

My two sisters, nieces, and nephew went on a roadtrip to see my dad in rural Indiana (where he is currently on vacation until his work sends him to another location) yesterday. It was a wonderful day. Very 'picture-esque' in only as real as an evironment as it can get. From my nephew hitting a ball and the dog who is chained to a tree by a leash chasing after it, to my sisters and dad talking about memories from the south at a table in the overgrown grass with an empty plastic blue pool in the background, and even my niece and nephew sitting on my dad's Harley. Very Sally Mann. Shooting 2 rolls of this was just what I needed. seeing things through a viewfinder and looking up as my family just shakes their head. "Sarah you've been doing this since you were 10, we're used to it." I cant wait to see this stuff. I handed my dad the print (which a dear friend of mine made for me) of one of the proudest moments, as a daughter and a photographer i've ever been a part of. He almost teared up as he said; "thank you sarah, this is the best photograph that has ever been taken of me. It shows my scars, my wrinkles, my life. I'm tougher than a $2 steak but I was proud here." Yesterday, was a great day.

New York was great, as usual. I'm going camping next week in Northern Michigan. I'm giving myself a week off after traveling so much lately. Fall is trying to usher in, and i'm taking full advantage. Boston, er, "Bawstin" is after.

Wicked Awesome.

Here's dad: