Friday, January 30, 2009

You Think When Jesus Comes Back....

I hardly watch television but I had it on tonight for some strange reason. I saw David Letterman and some sort of tribute to Bill Hicks. Being a huge fan of Bill I just looked sideways at the television as if ; "did he really just do that?"

And yet 15 years later Dave is airing something that he decided wasnt appropriate for television. While i'm all for human evolution it seems as though he wants everyone to believe he did it because he feels bad Bill died less than a year later after this episode was banned and he thought his comedy was noteworthy......

I however do not believe that. I'd like to, but I dont.

Same bit used that night. That was banned. The Jackie Kennedy and the rifle pendant is the ultimate reason it was banned.

Which is here:


He's apparently stupid for doing so.

That's great.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Snowed In

So 3 inches of snow on the ground currently with 2-5 starting to pile up right now and 5-10 tomorrow. I was telling a Scottish photographer last week that I missed snow, joking it was too green there.

Me and my big mouth. I'll be inside for the next 2-3 days. Crossing my fingers for a couple of shoots to come through. All of these photographers are so scared to shoot in the snow! I have to ease their mind and tell them it's an adventure. :P

Off to New York next week.. first time i've been there in 4 years in the dead of's fucking cold. I should probably arrange where i'm going to stay Tues - Thurs. I always do that last minute. Either way it will be great to see my people and course being back in New Yawk.

Suit, tapping singing girl on the shoulder: You sing wonderfully.
Girl: Thank you very much.
Suit: Yeah, by "wonderfully" I mean it sounds like a cat getting ass raped by a donkey. So I am sure that everyone else would appreciate you not doing that anymore as it is only 6 am.
(passengers clap)

--Staten Island Ferry Terminal

Kid on cell: I am about to kill myself because of you!
Hobo in wheelchair: Do it! Do it! You haven't got the balls!

--Prince between Mulberry & Mott

God Squad lady: Praise Jesus! You won't be saved without Jesus! You have to start believing in Jesus to be saved! Jesus will always be there for you!
Suit #1: Would it be so awful if we pushed her out when the doors open?
Suit #2: No. Jesus will save her.

--4 train

I miss the city.

Mel - My SFAM- and me photographed with our cocks by my big teddy bear Gary Breckheimer in, you guessed it Manhattan.

Friday, January 23, 2009


I arrived home about 7 pm incredibly jet lagged after traveling for 14 hours... I'm excited to take a bath and pick up little man until I get home....

I walk in the door to hear a giant fan and the smell of something similar to wet towels in a hamper for weeks. I see my carpet has been ripped up and my dry wall around my furnace is missing. I get my phone activated (after being stolen in Europe) only to find out my furnace exploded with water (because my apartment complex has the furnace linked to the hot water heater... fuck.) Apparently this happened Saturday (i've been gone since the 13th) and they vaccumed two inches of water out of my carpet. This is all due to me shutting my heat off before I left to conserve thinking it would be normal 40 degree temps. No it was -17. So I phone Shaun to let him know it's logical for me to get Aidan tomorrow morning while I get this sorted out tonight... exposed nails and huge fans are not the best thing for him. I miss my little guy but logic is good here.

So after airing it out for an hour and lighting scented candles/oil. It smells almost normal now and basically my carpet was cleaned. The only problem is, my furnace wont shut off which is getting heat from the hot water heater. So I have no hot water and no heat. Wonderful. Glad it's warmer here than in Scotland.

The maintenance people are being really condecending and rude so i'm trying not to think about this.

Drinking Chilean Shiraz and remembering the last 10 days of bliss. Like this moss;


Hey Pig.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I Can Feel My Feet Now...

This afternoon I was posing in the snow thousands of feet high on the edge of a mountain in Scotland.

Now i'm drinking authentic aged Scotch. Much warmer.

I leave tomorrow for Dublin only for a night with my authentic Scottish Robertson kilt (yes my last name is Scottish) Off back home on Friday. As much as i'll miss it here, I cant wait to see my little man and squeeze him.

I'll return soon.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Chocolate Cake for the American

I dont think the irony/symbolism of this has set with the Scottish lady who baked me a chocolate cake with an American Flag sticking out of it.

4:30 GMT time i'll be very proud. A lot of Scots are asking me (as soon as they see my passport) what this means to me. I say; "I grew up in a racially divided area on both sides of the fence. I've seen it firsthand. I feel like a lot of black Americans or people of any color who were once shunned, can finally put their suitcase down. They're home. Color isnt a factor anymore." They are just shocked at the response.

So today i'll be eating Haggis with tea and chocolate cake to watch the 44th President, Barack H. Obama sworn in...along with the rest of the world.

Fucking finally.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Holy Nessy

I arrived in Glasgow Scotland this morning and started my 5 hour bus journey to Lochcarron in the Northwest Highlands of Scotland. My god this is the most beautiful place i've ever laid eyes on. It's just unbelievable. Turning on roads through mountains and snowstorms overlooking frozen lochs and seas surrounded by clouds painted in white and grey. It's just beathtaking. Not to mention the unlimited amount of stars I can see in the sky... I'm literally 5 hours away from the nearest city. I cant believe it.

I cant wait to model in this tomorrow. Hopefully the snow will come but not in full force.

I feel really isolated here, which typically isnt a good thing for me but I find it very peaceful and interesting. For the short amount of time I am here I think i'll love it. I dont know how anyone cant....

.... and just think i've only seen 2 hours of daylight here....

Sunday, January 18, 2009


It's been raining off and on since i've arrived. This morning I awoke to birds chirping and the sun shining without a cloud in the sky. An hour later, pouring down rain and 20 mph winds. They have a reputation for the greenest country on earth for a reason.

Went for a drive today to see a lot of beautiful canals and old stone bridges. Absolutely beautiful. It started raining (shock) and the wind kicked up so we went back.

I'm off to Scotland tomorrow until Thursday, then back home on Friday. I hear there are 'heaps of snow' in the Northwest Highlands - which is where i'm going. I keep reminding them it is colder and there is more snow where I live. They cant seem to believe it.

I must take pictures.

Here's one from my adventure a few days back: 35 degrees 40+ mph winds above the treeline. It doesnt show the greenery here because well, it's too cold to rain in this particular location.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

"Yes, I'm American"

I have said that a few times, it seems people are very interested in what I have to say. I think they are wondering if I fit the stereotype they have in their head. A loud, obnoxious, Bush loving, huge appetite, that can only speak slang english.

Nah, the Irish are very nice people. They are very welcoming and generous. Just dont talk about football, rugby around them. I have always found soccer incredibly boring. I did watch a Rugby match last night that was pretty interesting. It's basically American football but much faster paced- similar to soccer. I enjoyed it actually. They just wouldnt stand a chance against an American linebacker. ; )

I'm having fish pie and "spuds" for dinner tonight. God their potatoes are fucking unbelievable. After experiencing an authentic Irish pub yesterday and talking about how the Irish love Florida for vacations.. I can use a Guinness.

Off to Scotland Monday.. the far northwest. I hear it is some of the most amazing landscape in the world. I'm thrilled.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Irish Gangsta's Paradise

Listening to "Gangsta's Paradise" (while Des - the photographer - wasnt noticing what was on the radio) then looking out of the (what we call drivers side) passenger's side of the Saab noticing the sheep, stone walls, and acres of green with picturesque mountains in the background. .. and laughing at what couldnt be more opposite of what Coolio was speaking of...

I posed in 35 degree (F) damp cold with 40+ mph winds above the treeline... god it was beautiful.

I have had one thing go awful for me, and that was unfortunate - my cell phone was stolen at the airport while I was sleeping my jet lag off and one hour of sleep on the 6 hour plane ride. I actually needed a new phone so this is a great way of getting one.. I just wont be able to until the last week of January. I'll post a blog asking everyone to text me their phone numbers that I have.

This is a great country. The people are incredibly friendly and the landscape is just phenomenal. This is only my second day in...

I'll post images as soon as I can. I'm a busy girl with no WIFI. Dont worry, I have stories... god do I have stories.

It's 9pm here and I am very tired.